Lazy Day

So today was spent without much activity; lethargy overwhelming. Lots of schoolwork, lots of writing. I played the trumpet for a bit, which made for a nice respite from things. Time kind of wastes itself very easily, and makes you aware of how quickly it slips away. So today I was thinking about the expression "spending time," because it's an interesting one. Why do we feel as though we have the ability to spend time as if it were a commodity. Isn't it more true that time spends us, that we are merely along for the ride and that there's nothing we can really do to stop the flow of time? Death scares us, and youth blinds us. We try to mature and work our way to maturity, but then once we reach it, we try to hold onto it with clammy hands and grasping fingers. The rope will always slip from us. Loss is inevitable. Decay is relentless. Nothing in the world is eternal.

Taking that into account, I feel as though there should be some way for us to make sense of decay, to build from the ground up. To continue living with the knowledge that everything that we do will wither and die. If astronomy has taught us anything, it is that the constants of the heavens are ephemeral, the sun will collapse in on itself eventually, the stars will die and wither away. The first law of thermodynamics. The law of Entropy. Chaos will govern all. Because it has to.