30 Minutes

So today is the first day back to the keyboard in a little while. I did some pen and paper work whilst i was away, but really not that much. Ever since things got so filled up with testing, my writing life has seemed a bit stifled. And I can feel it now while writing this. It's a little bit strained, and going on without pausing to think is difficult. like starting up a cold car engine.

They do that in Minnesota, you know, when the temperatures drop so low that leaving your car exposed could spell death for the poor machine. So you get a cord, and plug your car in so that the ice doesn't reach your engine. It maybe looks a little bit awkward, but in this case, function certainly trumps form.

Keeping things alive when they shouldn't be. We do that a lot. We as a culture have learned to try and hold on to everything with an iron grip, but all that achieves is that the rope of faith cuts us even deeper as it wrenches itself free from our grasp. I'm not saying that we should just leave things as they are, such inaction is dangerous. That's why i loathe the word "fate." It promotes inaction, it allows for lethargy, and seeds passivity where activity should be. But you can't argue with the fatalists, because OF COURSE you would argue.

I don't want to take my fingers off the keyboard now. What I want to say doesn't really matter, so long as the typing continues. Keystroke after keystroke lands with it's own unique intention.

I see the clouds gathering in my mirror-pool
where my faith defines reality.
her surface reflects my heart;
her heart is hidden from my vision

where a fish once was I see bones
where green once thrived I see grey
I look at my reflection and see
only mottled skin and dried gums

a drop of rain hits the surface of the water,
distorting my perception for a moment
as ripples race outward in concentric circles.
a drop of rain hits my eye.

when I was young, I saw visions of the future
and the people praised my ability
when I was middle aged, I saw visions of the hidden present
and the people feared my insight.

now i see nothing but a shadowy reflection of the past,
the people do not care-- they wait for me to die
and I do as well, sitting beside my Eye, as the rainwater
comes to take me to bliss.

***

Lao Tsu said that the true master does without doing. I say that before becoming a "true master" one must do and do and do until they know that doing without doing is not inaction, but effortless action. As fluid and natural as the flow of water from a mountainous source to the ocean.